


Practically Parardise

by Dorktapus42



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Welcome to Nightvale
Genre: I wrote this on a plane, Just fluff and stuff- no plot really, Other, all of my shorts seem to be written on planes, hmmmmm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 05:56:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15767988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorktapus42/pseuds/Dorktapus42
Summary: Cecil gets more than he bargained for on his day off.





	Practically Parardise

Cecil was sitting at a small cafe in Nightvale, listening to music and looking at the people around him. 

The shop had just opened, and it was well-received; they made excellent pastries and coffee, and the service was excellent. Nothing strange happened there in Snicker’s Cafe, that much was true, but that was probably because nothing had happened for a while. 

He sat there eating his pastry and drinking an iced coffee, glad to be on his day off. He was granted one a month, which was way more than he needed, but he tried to use them to the best of his ability for something useful. So he sat and relaxed, watching the townspeople and checking his schedule for the next few days. He looked up and away as a hooded figure went into the store. 

The cashier, a nice girl with red hair, quickly gathered up its order, and it departed in the direction of the dog park with a great collection of drinks in its gnarled, blackened hands. Coffee run perhaps? Who knew what they were doing. He pulled out a quill and jotted down a few notes on a napkin for his next broadcast. 

The Management probably wouldn’t approve, but he wrote it down anyway. Maybe he should do a piece on the hooded figures- granted he could get it through Management at all. 

He turned up the volume of his music and looked around. It was normal as always; people were buying groceries, scouts were in groups learning how to tie knots for their ritual amulet making competitions, a few scientists were inspecting some potted plants- it was perfect. It was the same balmy weather as always, and there was a pleasant, light breeze coming from the south. 

Practically paradise. He slipped the napkin carefully into his shirt pocket and the thin, black chalk into its proper case. Perfectly perfect. 

He left a few bills on the table and stood up, collecting his coat, clearing the table, and brushing crumbs off of his faded purple jeans. He threw his matching purple jacket over his shoulder and walked Main Street. 

Familiar faces waved and smiled, his footsteps in tune with the beat of his music. Pigeons pecked at seeds and leaves rustled in the trees. Someone was walking their dog. Practically paradise. 

He walked by the fire hydrant on the corner of Barkley and Sheppard and rubbed the top, as everyone did. He whistled a little tune down Mayberry Way, as some people did. He waved to a cat lazing on a fence, as few people did. He walked to his house a few blocks away, as nobody did but himself. 

He wiped his feet on the mat and unlocked the door, hearing it’s hinges give the familiar faint squeak as always.

“Hello house.” He hung his coat on the stand. He nodded to the Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home, who was inspecting the cracks in the ceiling, as usual. “Hello Faceless Old Woman.” He went around the corner to his dining table and saw the unfamiliar figure sitting there. There went his perfect day. “Hello unfamiliar stranger sitting at my dining table. Would you like some coffee?”

“No thank you Cecil, but thanks anyway.” The voice was familiar, but not the face.

He pulled out the chair opposite. “I apologize mysterious figure, but I can’t put a name to your face. Do you have one?”

“A face? Yes.” Well that much was obvious.

“No, a name. Speaking of names, how did you know mine?”

The figure smiled in his direction. “I am known as The Doctor. And as for your name, your friend over there told me. Wonderful character she is- reminds me of a friend of mine.”

“Well The, it is nice to meet you. You obviously already know my name, and you have somehow gotten inside my house. Did she let you in?”

“No, no, I got in myself. Lovely decor you have in here, very modern these days.” His shock of black hair moved like his hands as he spoke, and Cecil couldn’t help but look at it. 

“Well The-“

“Simply Doctor will work. Sorry to interrupt.”

“Well Doctor, you definitely are not from around here. The voice is unlike any of those around here, and neither is your style similar to anyone but mine. Lovely bowtie, but definitely not from around here.”

“Yes, my you’re a clever one!” His hands were still moving. “But I have a few questions for you.” He pulled out a notebook and pen. “How long have the anomalies been present?”

Cecil’s eyes were fixed on the notebook. He knew what it was of course, but he had never seen one outside of a heavily guarded safe just like with the pen.

“I’m sorry Doctor, but I will have to contact the Sheriff’s Secret Police. You carry two banned items in Nightvale, and you will be taken the the dog park for reschooling. Please do not fight or I will have to use force upon you.”

The Doctor looked down at his hands, then pulled something out of his pocket. A badge of some kind? An ID? He showed it to the Nightvale resident with a smile on his face. 

It was covered in gibberish. He swiftly went behind the man and pinned his hands behind his back. The items fell to the floor.

“I am sorry as a host Doctor, but you will have to come with me.”

To his surprise, the Doctor broke out of his grip and grabbed something else from his pockets, a green light emitting from one end when he pushed a button. He shone it in his face. 

The last thing Cecil saw was the Doctor’s surprised face as he felt a familiar twinge in his forehead and the world went black. 

He woke up on the floor, The Doctor drinking tea and sitting on the coffee table. His head felt fuzzy like it was stuffed with cotton, and he held his head as he got up. He felt his forehead with his thumb, and the strange feeling went through him again as his extra eye disappeared once more. Cecil eyed him warily. 

“What was that thing?” The device was sitting on the table, the light off. “What happened?”

The man before him set down the teacup. “Are we playing twenty questions now? If so, this is a sonic screwdriver, and you collapsed as soon as I shone it in your face. What are you anyway? This is Earth, right?”

“Yes- how did you get into my house? I lock the door and-“

“I have a time machine. Parked it right in the hallway. What planet are you from?”

“What? You parked it in my- hold on.”

He marched over to his hallway. Sure enough, a large blue box blocked the way. 

“Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to block your access. If I knew there was anything here-“

“What do you mean ‘what planet am I from?’ I’m a human!”

“Not with that extra eye you’re not. What are you really?” He caught a glimpse of a completely different man for a split second- in a brown suit with hair that rivaled Cecil’s. The Doctor has taken out a pair of wire-rimmed glasses and was inspecting Cecil closely. 

“You don’t have the eyestalk, or I’d assume you’d be a dalek host. My sonic can’t get a reading on you. Everything comes up fuzzy. So what are you?” He looked annoyed. Cecil was just confused.

“We are all human, are we not?” The Doctor shook his head, and pointed at the Old Woman. 

“She’s an alien. A harmless one for sure, but still not human. I’ve seen them before. You’re lucky she’s passive.” 

Cecil shook his head. “That I guess I can believe, but me? Everyone else in this town is normal. We’re all strange Doctor. I’m not an alien, I just have a magic eye.”

“Magic? Preposterous! What does it do, other than make you look weird?”

Cecil shook his head, rolling up his sleeves. “Let me show you.”

He brought him to his couch, where his bloodstone sat on the coffee table. He picked it up and turned to the Doctor. 

“Stand back. This could get violent.” The man scoffed.

“You don’t know violent. I don’t know violent. But if you insist.” He stepped a few paces back and crossed his arms. Cecil sighed and sat down with his legs crossed. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and began to chant in the runic language he had known his whole life. His tattoos glowed. The bloodstone turned red. The air felt thick with magic. And his eye opened. White runes appeared and floated in the air. 

He stopped after a few seconds of chanting, and the light from his tattoos and his eye slowly faded. He set the stone back on the table and crossed his arms, getting up and turning towards the Doctor. “See?” 

The man had backed up a few paces, pointing the sonic at him. His face was paler than usual, and that was saying something. Cecil raised his eyebrows as the residual magic in the air caused him to see something that should be impossible.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Cecil Palmer. And you have two hearts.” He was surprised to say the least.

“How do you know that?”

“I saw it. I merely went into a meditative state, and the residual magic in the air allowed me to see that. How are you even alive? Your body temperature is ice cold!”

“I’m an alien. I’m supposed to be like this.”

“But you look human!”

“And you look Timelord. Your point?”

Fair enough. He simply shook his head and went to go grab a snack. He rifled through his pantry. “So I’m not an alien.”

“That’s not completely out of the window, but it is unlikely, yes.”

“But The Old Woman is.”

“Yes. They may have been breeding here for generations- it would make sense for her not to know.”

“But what about the rest of Nightvale? Most of us are human, but what about the anomalies you spoke of? Are those aliens, or magic?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Who knows. Could be both, but I wouldn’t bother with it. Have you ever wanted to travel?”

“That’s a random question. But yes, I traveled quite a bit in my teenage years.”

“Teenage years? How old are you? You don’t look a day over twenty.” He raised his hands at the glare sent his way. “Just curious I swear.”

Cecil thought about it and shrugged. “I don’t really know. Thirty years? Time is meaningless here.”

“What do you mean?” He reaches around Cecil and grabbed a bag of custard mix. He then moved to the fridge. 

“Well, we have dates and time, but months can go by two, three at a time- and nobody remembers what happened. Days, weeks... they run together here. I don’t mind, of course, but my job is lenient about that. I just do a radio show.”

The Doctor had an expression of contemplation on his face, but it quickly fell. “A radio show? What is it called?”

“Welcome to Nightvale. It’s a simple little thing, really, but it does pay rent. What on earth are you making?”

The alien before him was dipping fish fingers in custard. He realized he was starving. “Give it here. I require payment for my services.” He dipped a finger into the custard. 

Not bad. He licked his fingers, paused, then went to go get some milk. “You checked the seal on the fish fingers, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Good. They’d turn into snakes otherwise.”

“Snakes?” He groaned, putting his head on the table. “Okay, this is how I regenerate. Get this thing- you know what, never mind. I’ll take the chance.” And he went back to scarfing down the meal with reckless abandon. Cecil shook his head. 

“I’m going to go lie down. This is too much craziness for one day.” 

He went over to his bedroom, stepping into the blue box to try to go through it. His mouth fell open. 

“What kind of magic is this?”

The Doctor came up behind him. “Oh, not magic, science. There’s a difference- Well, at least in this universe. But that’s not important- you need to go to bed.”

He ran over to the console and flicked a few switches. “Goodbye Cecil. I hope to see you again.”

Before Cecil could respond, he was back in the empty hallway, his forehead tingling strangely and a silver key in his pocket. He set it down next to the bloodstone and decided to take a nap on his couch this time. 

He really needed to get back to work.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and have a great day!


End file.
